Love & Relationships

The Art of Flirting

04.04.11 Lips

Believe us.  There are healthy ways to attract and keep a man.  And one of the most tried-and-true ways to get the apple of your eye is the art of flirting.  Now before you shy away, know that flirting is simply the skill of being alluring – in a playful manner. Consider flirting playtime for adults.  And used in a healthy, correct way, you can let the cutie pie in your neighborhood, your church, your dance class – or any space – know that he’s the one for you.  Cotton Candy contributor and relationship author J.J. Smith lists just some of the proven methods for flirting – and be prepared to reel him in.

Smile with your eyes: A smile shows energy, enthusiasm and happiness.  Everyone wants more happiness in their life. A smile lights up your face and lets others know that you’re happy, approachable and enjoying yourself. The same goes for smiling with your eyes.  When alluring a man, look him directly in the eyes and make eye contact.  Most of us have had a man tell us at one time or another they’ve been given “the eye” by a woman.  In many cases, there is a lot of truth in this statement.  A woman’s glance is powerful.  Smiling with your eyes is one of the most effective ways to convey interest.

Catwalk confidence: A woman’s walk is her calling card.  Have a confident walk with good posture and grace. Now, you don’t have to walk as if you are on a runway, but be confident and easy in your walk with your shoulders tall and back.  For some, this is a great challenge for those who may not feel graceful or feminine.  But every woman can flirt and attract through her walk alone.

Damsel in distress: If you’re just learning to flirt, you may begin by walking up to a guy to ask him for help or advice. For instance, you could ask whether there is a coffee shop nearby. It doesn’t really matter what you ask him; you are learning to approach him and engage in a conversation with men.  This is also a great yet subtle way of gauging potential interest.

Luscious lips: This may be a surprise to you.  But men love lip gloss – even if they don’t know it.  What they like about a woman who wears lip gloss is that the shine makes the lips more alluring.  When you apply lip gloss or lipstick, make sure to smooth it out properly.  If you don’t know where to start, Cotton Candy has some great suggestions for this season’s hottest lip glosses.

Whip your hair: Whether your hair is short or long, learn how to use your hair to your advantage.  The key is to have stylish, well-manicured hair that highlights the features of your face.  Men love to run their fingers through our hair, so it’s your job to make sure your hair is appealing to the touch. Well-groomed hair is seductive and key to attracting your crush.


J.J. Smith is a relationship author, radio host, passionate life coach, speaker and corporate executive.  J.J.’s dating and relationship advice is in high demand, with recent appearances on NBC, FOX, NewsChannel8, GLAMOUR, ESSENCE, Ladies Home Journal, theJamie Foxx Show, the Michael Baisden ShowMontel Williams Showand others.  J.J. is also known as D.C.’s Dating Diva for DC50, home the CW in Washington. She is the author of Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, and the host of the internet radio talk show Real Talk with J.J. and The Fellas.

Cotton Candy Magazine®