Love & Relationships

How to Forgive

04.11.12 How to Forgive Cotton Candy Magazine

No one gets though life without getting hurt.  But many times, forgiving can be hard.  However, choosing to forgive is one of the most positive and necessary steps to restore your emotions and relationships.  As humans, we have an incredible mind-body connection.  Negative feelings can actually manifest into ailments in the body.  So deciding to forgive can even result in a healthier, stronger body.   Cotton Candy Magazine® wants you to know that forgiving may be difficult at times, but it’s not impossible – and it’s most certainly necessary.  So we’re giving you a few steps – an action plan if you will – to help you and others move forward and forgive. Trust us. You’ll be happy you did.

Perhaps the most crucial step towards forgiving is acknowledgement. Understand that you may never receive acknowledgement or an apology from the person who has hurt you. But you have the power to acknowledge the hurt yourself.  Take a moment and reflect on the situation. Do not meditate on the wrongdoing, but come to grips with what has happened.  This will allow you to work through anger and hurt, rather than keeping emotions bottled up inside.

Also, make sure to set a specific time frame for the reflection and outward display of emotions. Initially, you can use this time to cry, scream, rail, and let go. Get it all out. But set a time limit, and stick to that time limit. Too much reflection on what has happened will actually evoke negative emotions and cause you to regress.  Setting a time limit will allow you to forgive.

We also want you to know that you don’t have to go through this process alone.  Feel free to call on a trusted friend, a loved one or perhaps professional therapist to talk out your emotions.  This will allow you to release your feelings.  But after you have talked through your emotions, you will have to make a decision to forgive the person or people who have hurt you.  Choose to move forward and decide not to hold the actions against them.  When you do this, you will discover you have a great amount of control over your emotions, rather than letting them or other people control you.  You must let go in order to go on.

As you move into the future, learn from your past experiences.  Set healthy boundaries and limits in your relationships.  But also recognize that people have faults.  And you must deal with faults – including your own – in all relationships.  So as you set limits, do not be harsh and critical.  But continue to have a forgiving attitude while knowing your boundaries in a relationship.  A forgiving heart always gives you and others a fresh start.

Cotton Candy Magazine®