Benefits of a Bad Date06.30.13
Many of us who are single label any date that doesn’t lead to an engagement as a waste of time. But any opportunity to meet someone new should be viewed as a chance to learn what you do and do not want in a potential partner. Searching for someone special should not be a method comprised of boxes to be checked or a catalog of qualities that must be met. Instead a person you meet up with on a date should be viewed as someone with layers of stories, theories, and thoughts to uncover. Every date— good or bad—is your opportunity to hear another person’s perspective and to share your own, all in hopes making the ultimate connection—the love connection.
Bad dates can actually give you clarity about your relationship must-haves and have not’s. Many people have no idea what they’re looking for in a mate. If nothing else, a bad date shows you what you don’t want out of a relationship and what you need to avoid in the future.
A night out with someone is a great source of entertainment and a great stress reliever. Even if you’re on a bad date, you can enjoy the activities. And many times, talking about the date to friends later will provide some fun stories and entertainment as well.
In dating, the old mantra holds true: practice makes perfect. With each date, you can figure out body language, conversation topics to stay away from and events that spark great connection. Even with a date that isn’t going so well, you’ll feel more comfortable with yourself and how you interact with your date.
A major benefit of even a bad date is now you are building momentum. Once you’ve snagged a date, you’ll feel confident to get another. Keep that momentum going. With each date, the motions will get easier and become more natural. You will build a comfort level. If you stop after one date, you will not build that much needed momentum.
The more you’re dating, generally the more confident you’ll feel about yourself. So even with bad dates, you will feel more comfortable to talk and meet people in any setting. Confidence is an instant turn-on. When you exude confidence, men will want to talk to you.
All right, this one’s just a bonus, but if all else fails, and you can’t find the silver lining in a date that’s heading south, at least you’ve indulged in a free concert, cup of coffee or a free meal. Hey, a girl’s got to eat.
Damona Hoffman (aka “Dear Mrs D”) is a dating strategist and writer who has coached singles on how to find love in her JMag column and on UBN Radio. Hoffman is the author of Spin Your Web: How to Brand Yourself for Successful Online Dating.